On our way to a church program one evening, she asked the kids, “Does your dad look like someone who has just prepared Ekpang Nkukwo?” A loud “No” the kids responded. I was in my usual shirt and tie outfit and of course, I didn’t look like someone who has just left the kitchen. My wife has always narrated how my mom has told her about the delicious Ekpang Nkukwo I used to prepare for the family before I became independent and she has reminded me on several occasions to prepare it for her and the kids. For those who may be wondering the kind of food I am referring to, Ekpang Nkukwo is one of the delicacies common among the Efik and Ibibio tribes in Nigeria prepared with either grated cocoyam (Colocasia esculenta) or water yam (Dioscorea alata). It was like, “Behold the water yam, periwinkles, smoked fish and other available ingredients, but where is my husband to prepare the Ekpang Nkukwo?”
I had to put aside my laptop and joined my wife and kids in the kitchen to prepare the meal. While they were wrapping the grated water yam, I was parboiling and getting other ingredients ready. Thanks goodness, I didn’t forget the recipe as it has been a long while I prepared the delicacy. As I began to cook, my wife and I discussed the recipe and our daughter was busy doing a video recording of the process. How else can a husband, father, CEO, to name but a few designations, have fun with his family? Since I was born, I have never seen my dad volunteer to prepare a meal for our family in the presence of my mom. I guess some folks share the same story with me. There has to be a paradigm shift. I can imagine the kind of fun my parents missed.
Aside from preparing a special delicacy for their wives, some husbands demonstrate how they love their wives by giving gifts – house, car, holiday trip, dress etc. Some husbands believe that when they beat up their spouses, they demonstrate love as well. In any case, the Bible – my marriage and life manual, admonishes husbands to love their wives and not to be harsh on them (See Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25). I have described ‘love’ as ‘lasting overwhelming valuable emotion’ and ‘husband’ as a man who is married to a woman with the following qualities:
H – humble and honest
U – unselfish
S – sensitive and communicative
B – benevolent
A – affectionate
N – non-violent
D – dutiful and responsible
A husband who hates his wife, hates himself and a husband who beats his wife, beats himself. Likewise, a husband who insults and abuses his wife does same to himself (See Ephesians 5:28). So, as a husband, whatever you can do to make your wife feel loved, do not hesitate to do it. As actions speak louder than words, I noticed that after my wife finished her first plate of Ekpang Nkukwo, she went for the second one. I felt good as I observed that she felt good as well. I urge husbands and potential husbands to, once in a while, experiment preparing a meal for their wives to experience the fun.
While ‘love’ is known by many as emotion, the Bible makes us to understand that love is a spirit God gives to His children (See 2nd Timothy 1:7). If you are yet to be a child of God to qualify you for the spirit of love, say this prayer of salvation: Lord Jesus, come into my heart. I believe that You came, died and rose to save me. I accept You as my Lord and Savior. Forgive my sins and deposit Your eternal life in me. I declare that I am born again. Amen!